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The Extra Future Drinks Library: The Old Hotty

The Old Hotty is a combination of a Hot Toddy and the oldest cocktail, The Old Fashioned. It’s great for colds and those of us who are besieged by problems all day long and who seek to conceal our alcoholism by giving it cute names and cloaking the booze in socially acceptable manner (in this case tea).

Suggested Applications

Cold or Flu remedy, “hair of the dog” hangover cure. Secret drinking.

You Will Need

  • A coffee mug. Might I suggest one with the Buchanan Area Chamber of Commerce logo on it?
  • Honey, preferably in one of those little bears.
  • (optional) If you like your tea REALLY fucking sugary, then go ahead and add a sugar cube. Jesus.
  • A lemon, cut into quarters, or some lemon juice.
  • Angostura bitters
  • Whisky, Rum or Rye. I sugest Maker’s Mark whisky, but since you’re mixing it, it doesn’t have to be the good stuff. Old Crow will work just fine in a pinch, and I will not judge you. We’re all friends here.
  • A bag of tea. Any kind will work, really.

Cook It Up

Get your coffee mug, pour/squirt just enough honey in it to coat the bottom of the mug. Add juice from a lemon quarter, or a couple squirts from that fake plastic lemon thing or whatever it is you people have, I honestly can’t keep up with all these different kind of lemon juice delivery systems so get off my back. I’m trying to help you here. Now add a dash of the Angostura Bitters, and a shot of your liquor. Throw in your tea bag, and fill the rest of the mug with boiling water. Steep the tea as you normally would. Taste the most delicious thing you’ve had all day. You’re welcome.

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The Extra Future No-Prize

I am hereby instituting the Extra Future No-Prize, a non-prize awarded to readers and users of my software who spot bugs, omissions, or misspellings. Include a mailing address with your bug report or correction, and you’ll get sent one of these handsome fellows.

You can find more information about No-Prizes at your local library.

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AdBrite, Longtime Advertiser on Goatse-Laden Sites Like Boing Boing, Uncomfortable With The Word “Shizz”

Adbrite, the company most known for providing spam pages with endless supplies of 7 Minute Diet and GET RICH NOW banner ads, has apparently decided that those big, bad, grownup words like “shizz” are bad for business. To be honest, it has gotten to be a hassle to deny the 100s of “Weight-loss Secrets of Horny Moms” and “Meet Sexy Singles in the Area We Guess You Live in Based on Our Shoddy IP Geolocation” ads that are the site’s bailiwick, anyway.

Here is the exact message I got from Adbrite, vis-a-vis my ad submission for FRMT.me:

The landing page contains slang terms for profanity, which we can’t allow in AdBrite. Please remove the word Shizz and resubmit the ad.

Needless to say, I won’t be doing that.

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Enhance Your Television Experience With Bland!

From the Extra Future Theater of the Air comes the following public service announcement regarding “Bland!” the hot new trend in televison:

You can, if you want, download it in a in Ogg, or m4a format.

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Introducing FRMT.me

FRMT.me is an online CSS formatter using the Extra Future house style rules, which I’ve yet to codify here but will soon. It is one of my 6-hour projects, and as such is considered a sibling to Megaman II’s Intro in HTML, CSS, and jQuery.

House style on the name is to print the domain all caps and the TLD in lowercase, like so: FRMT.me.

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Megaman II’s Intro Animation In HTML

Created by yours truly. No Flash, just CSS, HTML5, and jQuery. The animation is very not smooth in Firefox, but works great in Safari and Chrome.

You can check it out here.

Using the scrollbar to bring the view upward was a stylistic choice, it could’ve just as (if not more) easily done in a single “screen”, but what’s the fun in that? The demo uses the jQuery backgroundPosition-Effect plugin to achieve the parallax scrolling effect, and the new Javascript audio capabilities introduced by the HTML5 group. The timing may not work very well on older machines.

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Rebuttal.

(photo sources: douglubey.com, chris.pirillo.com, deconcept.com, adobe.com, cutesoft.net, adrianparr.com)

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The Little Things: LinkedIn Forums Edition

If you, like I, have been spending some time on the LinkedIn developer forums trying to hammer their API into something that works for your client, you’ll notice a couple things: 1) Their forums keep you logged in for about 30 seconds per session and 2) Nobody there pays attention to anything. Case in point, the wording that appears beneath each forum post, where the “click here to reply” link would appear if you were logged in, which you aren’t because it logged you out after 30 seconds:

Keep in mind this appears in every forum post, of which there are (as of this writing) thousands. And this isn’t a new thing, it’s been like this for quite some time. Either someone’s asleep, they don’t care, or their software is so gobsmackingly complex it would take more time to change one text string than it is worth. The real question is, though: Who accidentally the rest of that sentence?

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Silent Mode Engaged. See You In 201X.

Posting will be light-to-non-existent here on EFHQ until around Jan 3nd. Be excellent to each other.

Thanks to everyone who has ordered T-Shirts, I love you all with both my bodymeat and also my headmeat. Shirts should start shipping mid-Jan. You’ll be the coolest kid on your internets.

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Usability Question du Jour

Say I’m building a website that deals with data from other websites (social and professional networks, etc), and I want users to be able to enter in their existing profile info into of the application. I can’t just ask for their current username (e.g. http://facebook.com/<yourname>), because some of these websites do not have very friendly URLs (e.g. http://www.spoke.com/info/<somecharacters>/<yourname>) and these may confuse the user. Our mock-up implementation looks like this:

usability_q_1

In the example above, “Sign Up For” send the user to the specified site’s sign up page, and the form element is their ID. It changes based on the site in question, and I don’t think it quite works. What troubles me most (I’m not in love with it being overlaid on the text) is the language, but none of it is something I can’t live without. “Finish this URL” makes it sound like a game, or look like a CAPTCHA, neither of which is what we want. So, UI/UX/Usability gurus: How would you do it? Comments are open.

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Where To Order Red Bull Online

Red Bull. The breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack of brain-champions such as Warren Ellis, and yours truly. Problem is: It is not cheap stuff. I did a little sleuthing, and here are the current prices on cases of 24 8.3oz cans (Updated 12 November 2009):

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TONIGHT: Dancing Bear Benefit for Lorraine in #Sweatshop

Eliza Gauger:

The nose is all wrong, but this graceful creature is nonetheless my friend Lorraine, who has just suffered a grievous accident in which she fractured her spine. She is a dancer and a model and is now bedridden, totally unable to support herself. Tomorrow I will be running a tipjar marathon in which I paint portraits of her all day, and collect donations on PayPal for her medical bills.

“Dancing Bear” means Eliza paints as long as people keep money in the tip jar. Seriously, she will paint forever if you keep giving her money. Once it’s going, you’ll be able to watch/interact on USTREAM.

Top tippers will get one the paintings themselves, or one of two $50 gift cards to Clockwork Couture, purveyors of fine Steampunk wearables.

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The Venture Brothers Season 4 Opener Post-game

Premiered last night at midnight. I grabbed my copy from iTunes (for some strange reason, there are no torrents), but you can watch it the legal way on adultswim.com. That is an order. Things of note based upon my first viewing:

Spoilers follow

  • No Monarch in the season opener. Feels weird.
  • I have a feeling the CGC-grader-as-timestamp was someone’s 4am miracle.
  • Possibly the longest post-credits sequence in the show’s history?
  • I’m expecting for a fan remix that puts the story in chronological order. I guess you’d need a torrent for that, though, and the show is MIA on the main trackers.
  • Here’s the real cover to Marvel Comics #1, faithfully reproduced in the episode. ComicsPriceGuide.com says this issue is worth $360,000 for a CGC-graded 9.6 copy.

Overall, though, bravo. This is Jackson and Doc’s growth spurt as storytellers, and we’re all being made witness to it. I can’t wait for more.

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Using la petite url With A Custom Short(er) Domain Name

Since I introduced the ability to us a different domain for your shortened URLs in la petite url 1.5, I’ve had several email inquiries about how to set it up. With that in mind, I’ve put together the following tutorial, which I hope will help those of you who need a push in the right direction.

Step 1: Buy Your Domain

The first step we’ll be taking to set up a domain name for your la petite url links is the most important: Registering a domain name to use. It can be anything you like, but I’d personally follow these guidelines that I just made up:

  • It should be, at a glance, vaguely related to your “main” domain name. extrafuture.com uses exfu.ws. ignorethecode.com uses http://ignco.de. Be clever, but not too clever.
  • Stay away from weird TLDs, especially sketchy country ones. You don’t know when Asscracklvania is going to change the rules regarding their domain name registration, and then you’re out of luck with a bunch of broken links, which is the precise problem you’re using la petite url to combat.
  • Try to stay under 5 characters not including the extension. Every extra character is chipping away at the advantage of a “shorter” domain.
  • If you use GoDaddy to register your domain, I get a small kickback, and that would really make me happy. You want to make me happy, right? I thought we were friends.

The above are not hard rules, they’re just suggestions. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Step 2: Configuring The New Domain

If you manually control your web hosting like some kind of nerd, you can simply set the new domain name (in my case http://exfu.ws) as an alias for your main domain name (in my case http://extrafuture.com, ‘natch). If someone else is in charge of your hosting, this is exactly what you need to tell them:

Dear {Support Team For My Web Host},

I have purchased the domain name {your short URL domain name}, and would like it to be configured as an alias for my other domain {your main domain name}. In short, requests to {your short URL domain name} should be treated the same as requests to {your main domain name}.

Thank you,

{Your Name}

Maybe you should send them a present, too. At any rate, be kind to your support minions, for one day your life may depend on them. They will probably tell you that you need to configure the DNS of your new domain to point to their servers. Here’s a tutorial on how to do that if you registered with GoDaddy, which I had nothing to do with.

If you know how to do this in the various Control Panel softwares that are out there, let me know. I have no idea, because I don’t use ’em.

Step 3: Tell la petite url About Your New Domain

This one is easy as pie: Log in to your WordPress site, then go to Plugins, look for “la petite url”, then click “Settings” under it’s name. In the la petite url settings page, look under “Domain settings.” Click the “Custom domain” circle, and next to that enter in your new domain name, minus the http://. For me this would be “exfu.ws”. Once you’ve done that, click “Save Changes”, and wait for the changes to be applied. It’s only like a second. Don’t be so impatient. Ah, there it is.

You should be all set, now. If you have problems, concerns, or comments, address them to one of the contact methods listed at the top of this site.

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Status Report

Things are going to be slow around here while I try to squeeze in enough time for Brütal Legend in-between actual paying work. Should still be able to hit the Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday schedule for Extra Future Comics, though.

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Preliminary Notes on Apple’s Recent “It’s Only Rock and Roll” Music Event

In no particular order:

  • App recommendations: Wholly necessary, but we aren’t out of the woods yet regarding App Store curation. I bet there’s a good deal of money to be made just doing that: Curating collections of apps. Boing Boing got huge during the blog boom for curating other blogs, why wouldn’t it work for applications on a still-new platform? Someone’s going to get rich digging down on serious Touch applications.

  • iPod Touch No camera, no mention of 3GS-type speed bump. Kinda got the shaft. I can’t think of a single good reason for not including a camera that doesn’t involve trying to trick people into buying a Nano. Surely they aren’t afraid a (not that great) camera is going to steer fence-sitters from the iPhone to the Touch? Update: It’s now come out that the 8gb ($199) iPod Touch has the older, slightly slower, hardware, and all the others in the Touch line have the upgraded “3GS” innards. You’ll notice on the “Compare iPod Models” page on Apple’s site, the 8gb is sectioned off from his higher-capcity and speedier brothers.

  • iTunes 9 Now with more bloat and cumbersome, non-portable, versions of the extra features that people who illegally download albums already get in more useful formats. Still a 32-bit Carbon app. Gruber was right about WebKit.

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Using WordPress Functions Outside of WordPress

I’m working on a project that requires the use of WordPress functions (mainly creating users and such) outside of the WordPress installation. After some Google searches of varying specificity, I’ve found a method that appears to work for both WordPress and WordPress Mu. I’ve reproduced it here for my own purposes, as well as yours.

WordPress.org member oranfry posted the following helpful bit of code, to be inserted in the top of the wp-load.php, right after the <?php tag:

global $domain, $path, $base, $admin_page_hooks, $ajax_results, $all_links, $allowedposttags, $allowedtags, $authordata, $bgcolor, $cache_categories, $cache_lastcommentmodified, $cache_lastpostdate, $cache_lastpostmodified, $cache_userdata, $category_cache, $class, $comment, $comment_cache, $comment_count_cache, $commentdata, $current_user, $day, $debug, $descriptions, $error, $feeds, $id, $is_apache, $is_IIS, $is_macIE, $is_winIE, $l10n, $locale, $link, $m, $map, $max_num_pages, $menu, $mode, $month, $month_abbrev, $monthnum, $more, $multipage, $names, $newday, $numpages, $page, $page_cache, $paged, $pagenow, $pages, $parent_file, $preview, $previousday, $previousweekday, $plugin_page, $post, $post_cache, $post_default_category, $post_default_title, $post_meta_cache, $postc, $postdata, $posts, $posts_per_page, $previousday, $request, $result, $richedit, $single, $submenu, $table_prefix, $targets, $timedifference, $timestart, $timeend, $updated_timestamp, $urls, $user_ID, $user_email, $user_identity, $user_level, $user_login, $user_pass_md5, $user_url, $weekday, $weekday_abbrev, $weekday_initial, $withcomments, $wp, $wp_broken_themes, $wp_db_version, $wp_did_header, $wp_did_template_redirect, $wp_file_description, $wp_filter, $wp_importers, $wp_plugins, $wp_taxonomies, $wp_the_query, $wp_themes, $wp_object_cache, $wp_query, $wp_queries, $wp_rewrite, $wp_roles, $wp_similiesreplace, $wp_smiliessearch, $wp_version, $wpcommentspopupfile, $wpcommentsjavascript, $wpdb;

and in wp-settings.php replace all replace all occurrences of =& with =. Then include wp-load.php in your external file, and (in my case) wp-includes/registration.php. You can now call WordPress functions such as wp_insert_user.

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Bill Hicks: “Fuck Artists Only”

I keep hearing Bill Hicks voice in my ear as I listen to Bruce Sterling’s reboot 11 talk. From his album Shock & Awe: Fuck Artists Only

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How To Set Up An Anonymous Squid Proxy On OS X

This post has been deleted due to old age and irrelevance of the information contained therein.

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A List of Books & Authors Mentioned In The Ask Metafilter Thread “What books do people proselytize about?”

This is a list compiled by careful reading of the recent Ask Metafilter thread “What books do people proselytize about?” The first list are books, the second list is authors that users noted “all” works by. Where an author AND book has been mentioned, I took into account the intent of the poster: “Ayn Rand” puts Rand on the Authors list. “Ayn Rand’s The Fontainhead” puts the book on the books list, but does not add to her author’s list total. Both lists are ordered by mentions. Following Basically, I do whatever Andy Baio tells me. If it entirely possible and even likely that I have made an error or omission in this list. If you feel this is the case, contact me using the Contact link in my sidebar.

Books

  1. Harry Potter – 4
  2. Infinite Jest – 4
  3. The Celestine Prophecy – 4
  4. Twilight – 3
  5. Catcher In The Rye – 3
  6. Atlas Shrugged – 3
  7. Gravity’s Rainbow – 3
  8. The Celestine Prophesy – 2
  9. The Stranger – 2
  10. Ulysses – 2
  11. Dune – 2
  12. The Great Gatsby – 2
  13. The Corrections – 2
  14. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – 2
  15. The Jungle – 2
  16. The Master and Margarita – 2
  17. Lord of the Rings – 2
  18. Starship Troopers – 2
  19. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – 2
  20. 1984 – 2
  21. The Shack – 2
  22. Siddhartha – 2
  23. The Secret – 2
  24. Who Moved My Cheese – 2
  25. The Alchemist – 2
  26. The Long Tail – 2
  27. House of Leaves – 2
  28. The Prophet – 1
  29. The Turner Diaries – 1
  30. Deep Thoughts – 1
  31. The C Programming Language – 1
  32. Neuromancer – 1
  33. The Education of Little Tree – 1
  34. Fuzzy Memories – 1
  35. Battlefield Earth – 1
  36. Dharma Bums – 1
  37. On The Road – 1
  38. The Art of War – 1
  39. The Power of One – 1
  40. Getting Things Done – 1
  41. Thus Spoke Zarathustra – 1
  42. Dianetics – 1
  43. The Giver – 1
  44. The Captain – 1
  45. The Tao of Pooh – 1
  46. Catch 22 – 1
  47. The Watchmen – 1
  48. Stranger In A Strange Land – 1
  49. Les Misérables – 1
  50. The Te of Piglet – 1
  51. Ender’s Game – 1
  52. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – 1
  53. Candide – 1
  54. A Rememberance of Things Past – 1
  55. The Dice Man – 1
  56. Fight Club – 1
  57. V for Vendetta – 1
  58. Story Of O – 1
  59. Magic Mountain – 1
  60. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull – 1
  61. One Hundred Years of Solitude – 1
  62. Prozac Nation – 1
  63. White Teeth – 1
  64. Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs – 1
  65. Night Train to Lisbon – 1
  66. The World According to Garp – 1
  67. The Woman’s Room – 1
  68. Kundera’s Slowness – 1
  69. Das Capital – 1
  70. Holy Blood, Holy Grail – 1
  71. The Confidence Man – 1
  72. The Giving Tree – 1
  73. State of Fear – 1
  74. Freakonomics – 1
  75. The Teachings of Don Juan – 1
  76. Mutant Message Down Under – 1
  77. Confederacy of Dunces – 1
  78. Manhattan Transfer – 1
  79. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – 1
  80. Notes from the Underground – 1
  81. The Catcher in the Rye – 1
  82. Ender’s Game – 1
  83. Last Exit to Brooklyn – 1
  84. The Little Prince – 1
  85. Crime and Punishment – 1
  86. The Omnivore’s Dilemma – 1
  87. Jonathan Livingston Seagull – 1
  88. The Brothers Karamazov – 1
  89. Eat, Love, Pray – 1
  90. Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas – 1
  91. Rubyfruit Jungle – 1
  92. The Metamorphosis – 1
  93. The Lovely Bones – 1
  94. Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus – 1
  95. The Trial – 1
  96. Nausea – 1
  97. The Fountainhead – 1
  98. Chicken Soup for the Soul – 1
  99. The Crying of Lot 49 – 1
  100. The 4-Hour Work Week – 1
  101. Snow Crash – 1
  102. Contact – 1
  103. The Tipping Point – 1
  104. Foucault’s Pendulum – 1
  105. Jonathan Livington Seagull – 1
  106. The Grapes of Wrath – 1
  107. Crowdsourcing – 1
  108. What Color is Your Parachute? – 1
  109. The Elements of Style – 2
  110. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich – 1
  111. Here Comes Everybody – 1
  112. Night – 1
  113. Left Behind – 1
  114. A People’s History of The United States – 1

Authors

  1. Ayn Rand – 6
  2. Dan Brown – 3
  3. Michael Crichton – 2
  4. Kurt Vonnegut – 2
  5. David Sedaris – 2
  6. Daniel Quinn – 2
  7. Philip K Dick – 1
  8. TS Eliot – 1
  9. Toni Morrison – 1
  10. William Faulkner – 1
  11. Robert A. Heinlein – 1
  12. Chris Ware – 1
  13. Danielle Steel – 1
  14. Malcolm Gladwell – 1
  15. Tom Clancy – 1
  16. Chuck Palahniuk – 1
  17. Carlos Castaneda – 1
  18. Charles Bukowski – 1
  19. John Norman – 1
  20. Henry Miller – 1
  21. Isaac Asimov – 1
  22. Noam Chomsky – 1
  23. Herman Hesse – 1
  24. L. Ron Hubbard – 1
  25. Michael Pollan – 1
  26. Alice Waters – 1
  27. William Shakespere – 1
  28. C. S. Lewis – 1
  29. Jonathan Safran Foer – 1
  30. Gore Vidal – 1
  31. Jorge Luis Borges – 1
  32. Philip Pullman – 1
  33. Neal Stephenson – 1
  34. Neil Gaiman – 1
  35. Holderlin – 1
  36. Nicholas Sparks – 1
  37. William Carlos Williams – 1
  38. Ernest Hemingway – 1
  39. Isaac Isamov – 1
  40. Hunter S. Thompson – 1
  41. James Joyce – 1
  42. Chuck Klosterman – 1
  43. Thomas Mann – 1
  44. Anne Rice – 1
  45. Vladimir Nabokov – 1
  46. Michel Houellebecq – 1
  47. Ford Maddox Ford – 1