The Extra Future Drinks Library: The Old Hotty

The Old Hotty is a combination of a Hot Toddy and the oldest cocktail, The Old Fashioned. It’s great for colds and those of us who are besieged by problems all day long and who seek to conceal our alcoholism by giving it cute names and cloaking the booze in socially acceptable manner (in this case tea).

Suggested Applications

Cold or Flu remedy, “hair of the dog” hangover cure. Secret drinking.

You Will Need

  • A coffee mug. Might I suggest one with the Buchanan Area Chamber of Commerce logo on it?
  • Honey, preferably in one of those little bears.
  • (optional) If you like your tea REALLY fucking sugary, then go ahead and add a sugar cube. Jesus.
  • A lemon, cut into quarters, or some lemon juice.
  • Angostura bitters
  • Whisky, Rum or Rye. I sugest Maker’s Mark whisky, but since you’re mixing it, it doesn’t have to be the good stuff. Old Crow will work just fine in a pinch, and I will not judge you. We’re all friends here.
  • A bag of tea. Any kind will work, really.

Cook It Up

Get your coffee mug, pour/squirt just enough honey in it to coat the bottom of the mug. Add juice from a lemon quarter, or a couple squirts from that fake plastic lemon thing or whatever it is you people have, I honestly can’t keep up with all these different kind of lemon juice delivery systems so get off my back. I’m trying to help you here. Now add a dash of the Angostura Bitters, and a shot of your liquor. Throw in your tea bag, and fill the rest of the mug with boiling water. Steep the tea as you normally would. Taste the most delicious thing you’ve had all day. You’re welcome.


How to Brew Beer in a Coffee Maker, Using Only Materials Commonly Found on a Modestly Sized Oceanographic Research Vessel

Now that’s what I call science. Ingredients include: Raisin Bran, Vegemite, Alfalfa, and baker’s or brewer’s yeast.